Although in relative terms, 19 is not a big figure but in absolute sense it is surely a big time. And this is the end of my final teen year. But somewhere i am still that teen. The rebellious in me is still a spark away from explosion. And suddenly this realisation of my expected maturity makes me feel a bit robbed.
When i sit and write down this, my past flashes back. My home, my school, my old friends... everything... it just makes me realise that i had no less than an awesome 19 years of my life till now. And the dullness of sorrows and pains are so miniscule on the colourful piece of my history, that i really wanna thank God for this favour.
Even though my soul cries in rebellion to the reality that it is time for me to “grow up”, i have no option but to grow up. I have realised now that even my smallest action is so consequential in my life and in the life of others unlike how it was when i was younger.
In the midst of all this economic jeopardy, my future, for the first time, looks like a struggle. But i love uncertainties. Its a nice getaway from boredom. And i think its the remnant teen in me which makes me enjoy my own plight.
With totally uncertain days ahead, life looks challenging. But i know there is one person up there who would be looking down and smiling at me., like the way i would have smiled at a small kid struggling with his shoe lace and finding it the biggest problem of his life. This one reason forces me not to be worried about anything. And it reminds me of the first Bible verse which i learnt:
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want”